Dear Friends:

In the best-selling book, The Millionaire Next Door :
The Surprising Secrets of America's
Wealthy by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko,
there is a chapter where they talk about strengthening
the strong and weakening the weak.  As an example,
they cite a situation where an affluent parent
subsidizes the purchase of a home for a child who is
unable to purchase a nice home because of their
spendthrift lifestyle.  The child has achieved neither
the income nor the  saving habits to live in such a
neighborhood and so requires the parent's "help."  It
is no help at all, as pointed out by the authors, but
is instead "weakening the weak."  The child, living in
a more affluent neighborhood than they ought, it put
in a situation where their consumptive lifestyle is
made worse by trying to keep up with their new, more
affluent neighbors. 

How many times do we see this effect of weakening the
weak? 

In 2 Samuel 13 we have the story of Amnon and Tamar.
Amnon has a weakness.  He as fallen in love with his
half-sister, Tamar.  Leviticus 18:9, clearly spells
out his dilemma. "Do not have sexual relations with
your sister, either your father's daughter or your
mother's daughter, whether she was born in the same
home or elsewhere." (NIV)  It appears that Amnon has
enough sense not to act on his inappropriate affection
until his friend and relative Jonadab appears on the
scene.  At Jonadab's urging, Amnon plans and then
executes his sister's rape. 

What is even more interesting is that when King David
hears about this terrible act perpetrated upon his
daughter by his son, it records he was very angry but
no action was taken on his part.  It has been
suggested that David, remembering his own
indiscretions with Bathsheba, did not feel he was in
any position to take a hard line on the sexual code of
the Law of Moses.  Whatever the case, two years later,
as Absalom plot his sister's revenge, Amnon appears to
be carrying on "business as usual." 

The point is that Amnon was weak.  His friend,
Jonadab, should have been the one to strengthen him
and tell him to put these wicked thoughts behind him.
Instead, Jonadab further weakens his friend by
hatching this plot to rape Tamar.  Amnon is further
weakened by his own father.  David takes no apparent
action resulting in the murder of his son and,
eventually, the rebellion of his other son, Absalom.

David became in modern psychological parlance an
enabler.  An enabler, according to the Merriam-Webster
Collegiate Dictionary is "one that enables another to
achieve an end; especially: one who enables another to
persist in self-destructive behavior by providing
excuses or by helping that individual avoid the
consequences of such behavior."  Jonadab, on the other
hand, was worse than an enabler, he was a cohort in
crime. 

We too often do this very thing to our family and
friends without realizing it.  Suppose that you have a
friend that watches too much TV for their own good.
When it comes time to get them a gift, what do we
purchase them?  A DVD player or a new video tape?
Suppose we have a friend that is overweight, are they
the first one we grab when we want to run grab some
fast food?  How about that sports fanatic we know.
Who do we call when we have that extra ticket for the
game?  How about that shopaholic or spendthrift?  Who
do we call when we want to go shopping? 

Next week, Lord willing, we will examine this topic
further. 

Have a great week!

Kyle